The Black Chihuahua

I have a black dog, that later I will name;
It resembles a Chihuahua, not quite a Great Dane.

Not big and menacing, but nervous and yappy;
Yet when it starts barking, it’s hard to be happy.

It is anxious and blanketed with low self esteem;
Reflecting my change from who I have been.

Someone more affable and social in life;
Now distant with friends, only relaxed with my wife.

On edge with people, individual or in groups;
Conversation falls short and my confidence stoops.

The dog at my heels – relentless, distracting;
My life becomes theatre and I am just acting.

Playing the role of how I used to be;
Before the hound began accompanying me.

Some of you reading may think I’m just sad;
Let me assure you, I wasn’t always this bad.

The moment of change, linked with enormous self-worth;
That point was following my first child’s birth.

A time of great happiness, but wrought with fear;
The worry of failure, bled many a tear.

My tears fell down and soon were lapped up;
By a small ball of fluff, my dog – as a pup.

As my confidence grew, the dog learnt to heel;
Allowing me to enjoy, to laugh and to feel.

Recently though, these feelings have changed;
My dog off the lead and freedom deranged.

Sensing my weakness, then making a stir;
My thoughts became sullied in clumps of black fur.

My voice drowned out by the sound of a yap;
And soon I fall into an anxiety trap.

A glimmer of hope, is this feeling won’t last;
The sadness that’s here, is gone just as fast.

The anxiety is stronger and the bitterest of pills;
And will regularly be a battle of wills.

Regardless of my hopes and dreams for more;
Battles are more frequent in this ongoing war.

My dog has a name that I’m too scared to say;
In fear that I’ll be treated a different way.

The Black Chihuahua’s name you probably know;
Despite me trying to not let it show.

I will send this companion to the ‘farm’ in the end;
My dog’s called Depression, and it’s not my best friend.

By Paul Webster

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5 thoughts on “The Black Chihuahua

    • Thank you very much!

      I hope it helps raise some awareness and enables others to understand their own companions, whatever form they take, and deal with them in their own way.

      Thank you for reading it ☺

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